Positivity!

Last Friday we had a conference with Adam's teacher and the director of his preschool.  It was an opportunity for us to learn first hand what is really going on with him at school.

As we somewhat suspected, Adam likes to do his own thing.  He does not care for people to be in his space however it's ok for him to be in someone else's.  Of course we are still trying to understand what has triggered this behavior but for now we are taking a new approach with him - POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT.

This approach is so he hears the right things rather than the bad stuff.  So instead of saying "Adam don't run" we say "Adam walking feet"; or rather than tell him "don't hit" we say "soft touches".  It was also suggested that we not punish him for things that happen at school; we leave that for his teacher to do and we deal with the stuff at home.  Of course we don't have these issues at home so that's a moot point.

Well yesterday was the first day of this approach and he had a good day.  He got two stickers for following directions and cleaning up and he got to enjoy the whole soccer practice.  Now I'm not going to shoot off fireworks and strike up the band after one day, but I will try to focus on the positive a little longer.

The "Kingpin" of Preschool

So we now have a little more insight into Adam's behavior at school, it's all about the girls!  Remember what they told us girls when we were little, the boys only pick on the girls they like.  Well apparently my son likes them all.  You see the spitting - which is really raspberries- the hair-pulling and the shoving is only done to the girls. 

This all became clear to me the other day when I got yet another note in Adam's cubbie.  So I asked his afternoon teacher about it to find out what they do when he behaves in this manner.  She told me they remove him from the situation by walking him away and telling him what he is doing is wrong.  I can live with that course of action.

So the next day, this same teacher said she paid a little more attention to Adam to really see what's going on and that's how I learned about the girls.  She said that he chases them and does the aforementioned things and all the while the girls are saying "Oh Adam Buckelew, stop that" but they keep running to him.  AND they take care of him.

What do I mean by that - according to his teacher, they clean up his toys, they share snacks with him, they help him with his shoes and jacket.  So it seems that he is of the 1950's mentality that the women take care of the men which is more obvious when you ask him why he does these things and he says "Because I want to".  Guess I need to work on that!